Lauren's Laffers

"Oh my God! I just fucked this guy and he has Pablo Cruise records in here!"

Lauren's Laffers

"You're right. There's a teeny-tiny man preparing savory avocado spring rolls down there."

Lauren's Laffers

Training is already underway for this year's Kentucky Debby.

Lauren's Laffers

"The surgeon sliced them open here and here and then stuffed all his old laundry in there."

Lauren's Laffers

It's not much of a magic act but it sure pays the rent.

Lauren's Laffers

Mom had funny ideas about what constituted an After school snack.

Lauren's Laffers

I remember when the salad bar at The Sizzler only used to offer three types of cold pasta and a "Soup of the Day".

Lauren's Laffers

For you married men: I think this anniversary is the one between the wood anniversary and scarves.

Lauren's Laffers

Trudy discovers that having anal sex with The Invisible Man hurts just as much as if you can see the guy.

Lauren's Laffers

Deb waits to welcome any visitor to the park that is a schnauzer or larger.

Lauren's Laffers

The Trimble twins put their daddy's air compressor to good use.

Lauren's Laffers

She may have two cocks jammed up her ass...but she's thinking about ice cream.

Lauren's Laffers

Not only is Carissa fun to fuck, you can also tie your horse up to her.

Lauren's Laffers

There's a reason that they put that same kind of covering on hot air balloons.

Lauren's Laffers

My doctor swore to me that he'd just run out of his regular, wooden tongue depressors.

Lauren's Laffers

"And this is just one of my breast implants!"

Lauren's Laffers

After two years of going without sleep and tireless searching, Rebecca finally found out where her ex-boyfriend was buried.

Lauren's Laffers

Adriana had her own special way of keeping bananas from going soft.

Lauren's Laffers

Men: A meeting of the minds.

or

"Hey look, I'm a Walrus!

Lauren's Laughers

An scene from this summer's mega-hit, "Pornocchio!" 

Lauren's Laffers

Personally, I prefer to use a good old fashioned toothbrush.

Lauren's Laffers

"Thank you heavenly father and please forgive me for what I'm about to do 3 or 4 times in a row."

Lauren's Laffers

"Will you just let me take my vibrator out, first?!"

Lauren's Laffers

Big 5 is having its annual Bicycle Seat Sale this weekend.

Lauren's Laffers

Gianna is trying to decide whether to spend her fertile years dedicating her plump and perkies to babies or billionaires.

Lauren's Laffers

How many times have you just tried to read "Tale of Two Cities" naked in a public library and this happens?

Lauren's Laffers

Being a contortionist allowed Becky to have some really great views of her having sex. 

Lauren's Laffers

Because you're mine, I lick the line.

Lauren's Laffers

Another captive of the Sybian Liberation Army.

Lauren's Laffers

Angelina Jolie getting advice from her lawyer.

Lauren's Laffers

The tide was going out, until it saw her on the beach.

New Story! I'm Afraid I'm Going to Have to Incest

Mom is so embarrassed when her son catches her masturbating. Things get really interesting when she walks in on him having a righteous wank.

Read all about it! 

http://caffieri.com/im-afraid-im-going-to-have-to-incest-xxx/

Lauren's Laffers

And after all this hard work, Tina Fey still didn't get nominated for an Oscar.

Lauren's Laffers

All through her bridal shower, Beth couldn't help but worry about what her fiance was getting up to at his bachelor party.

Lauren's Laffers

Adding new meaning to the phrase, "Look at the birdie."

Lauren's Laffers

A Vegan Orgy.

Lauren's Laffers

Alcohol: Before and After.

Lauren's Laffers

This is what happens 24 hours after you accidentally swallow your dildo. 

New Story - He Filled Up My Cirriculum

A pissed-off housewife goes to a party and picks up a young man. It goes deliciously well until, a couple of weeks later, whe she finds out that he's one of her students.

http://caffieri.com/he-up-filled-my-curriculum/

New Story "First a Wank, Then He Sank his Plank in her Tank"

I have a new story up on the mega-wonderful Caffieri blog. If you like masturbating - and who doesn't - you're going to love the hero of my new story. 

http://caffieri.com/first-a-wank-then-he-sank-his-plank-in-her-tank/

Lauren's Laffers

"Hi I'm Rebecca and for 50 bucks, I'll chop your log."

Lauren's Laffers

Priscilla lived on a diet of bubblegum and rump-roast string and this was the outcome.

Lauren's Laffers

There are two types of very well paid secretaries. The ones who possess impeccable spelling, an unfailing eye for detail and are a wizard with the coffee pot. This is the other type.

Lauren's Laffers

More proof that humans evolved from whales.

Lauren's Laffers

"Oh shit, she just found her husband's cum."

Lauren's Laffers

I don't always get naked and touch myself at the office but...no, that's not true, I always get naked and touch myself at the office.

Lauren's Laffers

Donald Farkleson just couldn't decide whether he wanted to become a gynecologist or the guy who punches your ticket on the the bus so.....

Lauren's Laffers

"Shit Daphne, this is like some sort of bad dream, Look around. We're the only people on the entire street that are wearing jeans!"

Lauren's Laffers

"I've got to say, I've had better first dates."

Lauren's Laffer

Caroline finally drums up the courage to confront her stalker.