Lauren's Laffers

Johnathan and Trudy met and fell in love at a narcolepsy support group. 

Lauren's Laffers

"And our great, great grandchildren need never know."

Lauren's Laffers

All young girls go through a phase where they like to have lesbian sex in front of hobos.

Lauren's Laffers

Her bra is bigger than my first apartment. 

Lauren's Laffers

Rebecca was pretty sure she had a good case for sexual harassment in the workplace.

Lauren's Laffers

Spongebob Pervopants.

Lauren's Laffers

While most dogs love to chase cats, Boris preferred bees.

Lauren's Laffers

Someone once asked me, "What's the worst job interview you ever had?"

Lauren's Laffers

When you're at the beach this summer ladies, watch out for that darned Aquaman. He's super quick.

Lauren's Laffers

"I don't always suck a perfect stranger's cock, but when I do, it's in a room full of shit-faced women."

Lauren's Laffers

"Hey, guess what? If I make eye-holes in your butt cheeks, it looks just like I'm getting a blowjob from a fat chick!"

Lauren's Laffers

Divers really hate it when you forget to fill the pool.

Lauren's Laffers

Everyone should have a hobby. Ying and Yang Soo like to go down to their favorite mall, take off all their clothes and smoke gigantic invisible cigars.

Lauren's Laffers

"Oh my God! While I wasn't looking, someone stole my deodorant."

Lauren's Laffers

Sally knew if she lay still long enough, her short-sighted sister would mistake her for a stamp.

Lauren's Laffers

Dorothy points out to the police, the last known location of her gardener's penis. 

Lauren's Laffers

"I'm flashing the neighbors my big hairy pussy. What are you up to?"

Lauren's Laffers

Some nurses have a special way of testing the condition of a patient's prostate.

Lauren's Laffers

"In here. No, in here. You missed it by about two inches. For the love of God, stick it in this one."

Lauren's Laffers

Recess can be a heck of a lot more fun when you're home-schooled.

Lauren's Laffers

"You're right, it does smell a lot like the inside of a cowboy's hat."

Lauren's Laffers

"Swiffer" now comes with a feminine hygiene attachment.

Lauren's Laggers

"And now ladies and gentlemen, I will saw this woman in half."

Lauren's Laffers

Ellen couldn't help admire the skill and artistry, after receiving a facial from her local barista.

Lauren's Laffers

It took two or three years of intense training but Sally's pussy can now tell the difference between a Pinot Noir and a medium priced Bordeaux.

Lauren's Laffers

Just like the black widow spider, Bethany liked to have sex with things she could eat, afterwards.

Lauren's Laffers

"Who will lick my brisket?"

Lauren's Laffers

All Jimmy wanted for his birthday was to have oral sex at Sea World.

Lauren's Laffers

No matter how many hours of sleep she got, Delores always awoke with a stiff back and a headache.

Lauren's Laffers

"Hey you're right, it does sound a lot like a carsick duck."

Lauren's Laffers

"Wow! Is that guy over there eating a Klondike Bar?"

Lauren's Laffers

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Lauren's Laffers

The Smith Brother they never talk about.

Lauren's Laffers

The bathroom at my local bank.

Lauren's Laffers

"Okay, I've showed you my tit, now go and get me the goddamn lip balm!"

Lauren's Laffers

"You know, I worked really hard on this magic trick, I wish you'd stop staring at my cock."

Lauren's Laffers

"This is so cool. I just gave my granddad a boner!"

Lauren's Laffers

A very relieved blonde signals the lifeguard that, "It's okay. I found my vagina."

Lauren's Laffers

Bi-sexual math students studying tribonometry.

Lauren's Laffers

"When the moon hits our face and you grab a big taste, that's amore!"

Lauren's Laffers

Rachel Maddow before she decided she liked women.

Lauren Laffers

"I'm not pregnant! Ya-fucking-hoooo!"

Lauren's Laffers

It quickly became apparent that Willard's "Vomiting Carrot" story was more of a "Think Piece" than an actual joke. 

Lauren's Laffers

Remember, wanking while having the shower is so much easier than wanking while brushing your teeth.

Laruen's Laffers

Miriam was ambi-dyke-xtrous.

Lauren's Laffers

"Of all the billions people in the world...I had to fall in love with a fucking drummer!"

Lauren's Laffers

"Just fucking great. Now, if you're finished whackin' on that thing, go and get me my shampoo."

Lauren's Laffers

This is the only position that Ophelia can see her kneecaps. 

Lauren's Laffers

"Honey, that is so rude! I haven't taken my top off yet."

Lauren's Laffers

Every May 15th, the girls of St. Bartholemew's get together to relive their prom night.